Fool Me Once
Jessica Joy
Black Velvet Seductions
2008

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Toni and Blair were friends once, or at least Blair had thought they were friends until Toni’s betrayal caused a botched sting operation that had nearly cost him his life. His misplaced trust in her had cost the lives of two of his friends.

Toni arrives back in Blair’s life under mysterious circumstances when she crashes her Porsche near his driveway. When she wakes after the accident she has no memory of her past except for the strange disconnected images of a murder scene that haunt her dreams.

Blair wants to take down Toni’s lover Farrell Hagen, the man responsible for the deaths of his friends. To do this Blair needs information he believes Toni can give him once she regains her memory. Desperate to keep Toni safe until she can give him the information he needs Blair tells Toni they were long time friends and had planned to spend the Christmas holidays together.

But the fraud he perpetrates takes on a life of its own and reality begins to pattern itself after his lie when this Toni is nothing like the Toni he knew before the accident and he finds himself emotionally and sexually attracted to her.

 As they work together to try to piece together the meaning behind the disjointed scenes of a murder that haunt Toni’s dreams the attraction between them flares.

When they make love for the first time they learn that things can’t possibly be as they seem. This knowledge puts them on a collision course with death as they race to unlock the secrets of Toni’s mind before the killer comes for Toni.

CHAPTER ONE

Blair Kierstead glared down at the unconscious woman on the narrow hospital bed. Even though her head was swathed in a bandage and an angry purple welt stained her left cheek, Toni Greer was stunning. With a sharp sigh, he spun away and scrubbed his hand across the back of his neck. He'd learned too late her beauty was only skin deep.

Anger ripped through Blair as it had countless times since Toni's crash had landed her back in his life. He shoved his hands deep into the pockets of his jeans. It was the only way he could stop them from snaking around her slender neck and shaking her into consciousness. Then, he could demand answers to questions that had haunted him for almost two years.

The door scuffed open. Drew Bryant, Blair's closest friend and ex-superior from his days with the FBI, strode into the antiseptic room with a mug of steaming coffee in each hand. Blair turned toward him, every muscle taut from the effort it took to restrain two years of pent up emotion. Drew's pinstripe suit, white shirt, and silk tie were glaring reminders that their days of working deep undercover belonged to a different lifetime, to two different men. After their last disastrous assignment, Blair had turned in his badge, and Drew had accepted a promotion to a desk job, something Blair had sworn he would never do.

Drew passed a mug to Blair then glanced toward the bed. "No change?"

Blair shook his head, following his friend's gaze. A glimpse of Toni's honey-gold hair and creamy skin was enough to set off yet another wave of self-recrimination. He had trusted her. That error in judgment had nearly cost him his life. But far worse, two good men had paid for his mistake with their lives, a blunder for which he would never forgive himself. Drew's thoughtful gaze was fixed on Toni as he took a sip of coffee. "What the hell is she doing here?"

Though an answer was unnecessary, Blair bit out, "Farrell Hagen." The electrically charged words crackled in the air
between them.

Drew nodded. "Toni disappeared a couple of days ago. The logical conclusion was foul play." Their eyes met. "You know Hagen."

Blair gave a grim nod. Yes, he knew Hagen, knew
everything about him. He'd spent months studying Hagen's double life: the wealthy philanthropist and the elusive criminal. But the weeks of painstaking research hadn't helped him when he'd led a covert operation to apprehend the man who dabbled in everything from drug running to murder. He'd only succeeded in leading his team into an ambush and nearly getting himself killed. Perhaps if he hadn't been so intent on nailing Hagen, he would have sensed Toni's impending betrayal and his colleagues wouldn't have died.

Dragging his thoughts out of the murky past, Blair watched
Drew swirl his coffee in his mug. The small gesture transmitted Drew's agitation more effectively than a lengthy discourse. On assignment, their ability to read silent messages had meant the difference between life and death.

"So, what's the scoop?"

Drew stepped closer to the bed and set his mug on the
nightstand, his lips compressed into a thin, bloodless line. "Not long after Toni disappeared, the word on the street was that Hagen was offering a quarter of a million dollars to anyone who could locate her."

Blair blew out a long, soft breath. Hagen's obsession with
Toni was renowned. "He wants her back—badly. The question is why?"

Drew gave a humorless laugh. "Wouldn't we all like to know the answer to that?"

Whatever caused her flight would no doubt be very useful to the Bureau. "Why not simply take her into protective custody?"

"Because the truth is..." Drew leveled a solemn gaze on Blair. "I'm not sure I can keep her alive."

"What?" Blair's mug lurched to a stop halfway to his mouth, the contents spilling over the rim. He didn't want to believe what he was hearing.

"I'd bet my pension we've got a leak, a big one."

Blair's stomach knotted at the thought of an agent selling out to scum like Hagen.

"Every time we think we've got Hagen right where we want him, he slips through our fingers. Crucial evidence disappears or a deal changes location," Drew stated, frustration clinging to his words. "Someone inside has to be working for him." His glance was weighty with meaning. "That's why I didn't tell anyone at the Bureau that Toni is here. As far as they know, I'm on vacation for a couple of days."

Given his feelings for Toni, Blair would have liked nothing better than to toss her back onto Hagen's lap and let her deal with the consequences, but that couldn't erase the past or bring back the men who'd died. Besides, if there was a mole working for Hagen, Drew would need his help to keep Toni out of Hagen's clutches long enough to make use of what she knew to expose the traitor and hopefully take down Hagen at the same time. He needed to be a part of any operation that brought down Hagen once and for all. Perhaps it would exorcise some of the ghosts haunting his days and help him begin to make peace with his past, if he ever could. He wanted in, even if it meant protecting Toni Greer. "What's the plan?"

"For now, let her stay at your place—keep her out of sight.
You'd be the last person they'd expect her to turn to."

"That's for sure." Blair didn't try to hide the harsh edge in
his voice.

Drew leveled a searching glance on him.

"I'll be fine," Blair responded to the unspoken question in his friend's eyes. In the past, he'd never allowed his feelings to interfere with an assignment, and he certainly wouldn't start now, even with an unofficial one.

A sound, between a sigh and a cough, came from the bed behind them. In unison both men turned, focusing on the waking Toni. Her eyelids fluttered open. Confusion shimmered in sea green eyes as her gaze collided with Blair's. "Where am I?"

"Mason's Cove," Blair answered and watched a deep furrow form between her brows.

Silently, she mouthed the words then sank her teeth into her lower lip, staring intently into his eyes. "This is a hospital room. What happened?" Her questioning gaze darted to Drew and then back to Blair. "Why am I here?"

Either she was an actress worthy of an Oscar or something was very wrong. Blair watched for a crack in her facade. She'd fooled him once before, and he didn't repeat mistakes, especially not fatal ones. "You were knocked unconscious when your car skidded into the ditch beside my driveway." His instincts twitched a sure sign of trouble. The tension in the room was so thick he could almost curl his fingers around it. He darted a quick glance at Drew. Wary watchfulness burned in his friend's eyes.

"Your driveway?" She drew her brows together until they almost met and then shook her head. "We're friends?" At one time he'd thought they were friends, a lifetime ago when he'd believed she was someone he could trust. He refused to play the fool again. "Yes," he intoned, hating the lie but determined to play the game.

Liquid crystal tears shimmered in her eyes. "I don't remember you."

Damn she was good. The catch in her voice was perfectly executed. For an instant, he almost believed the panic rising in her eyes was genuine.

A lone tear slipped from the corner of her eye, then dropped onto the pillow. A second tear followed the first. "I don't remember anything." She took a deep, shuddery breath. "Anything at all." * * * * Minutes later in the corridor outside Toni's room, Blair faced Aram Madigan, his life-long friend and the physician treating Toni. Silently, he roared at the tangled mess fate had tossed in his lap. As much as he didn't like it, Toni's condition appeared to be genuine.

"Retrograde amnesia?" Blair's quietly spoken words belied the acid frustration consuming him. "Which means?"

He had a pretty good idea what it meant, but just maybe, if luck was with him, Aram would prove him wrong. But then, if luck had been with him, Toni wouldn't have come crashing back into his life.

"It would appear the head trauma she sustained in the accident has caused a temporary memory loss."

"Temporary as in hours? Days?" He paused, not wanting vocalize the third possibility, but went on anyway. "Weeks?"

"Any of the above." Aram's brown eyes lit with speculation, but he was too good a friend to pry. "When you're dealing with the brain, there's still a lot we simply don't know." Aram closed Toni's stainless steel chart and tucked it under his arm. "And when her memory does return, it might be in fragments or all at once."

"Could we jog her memory somehow? Hypnosis?"

Aram arched one dark eyebrow. Blair knew that he was pushing, but the sooner they knew the circumstances that brought Toni here the better.

"It might not be a good idea. I suspect the blow to her head was only partially responsible for her amnesia."

"What?" This day was going from bad to worse by giant leaps and bounds. No matter how unpalatable the news, he would respect Aram's assessment of Toni's condition. Aram was one of the best. He'd passed up a lucrative practice in Boston to return to his hometown and open a family practice.

"Something's wrong." A crevice formed between Aram's eyebrows. "Her concussion was mild. In theory, it should have produced some confusion, a headache, maybe some dizziness, not unconsciousness and amnesia."

Blair pressed his back against the concrete wall and gave a long, hard sigh. Aram was probably closer to the truth than he realized. Everything about this was wrong. His gaze met Drew's whose expression was as dour as he felt.

What could have brought Toni here to him? He was positive he hadn't mentioned the name of his hometown when he'd met her two years ago, which meant she'd made a deliberate effort to find him. It also suggested her flight was premeditated. Who was she running from? And if her life was in danger, why had she come to him instead of going to Hagen? He had a feeling he wasn't going to like the answer to either of those questions. * * * * In the bathroom of her hospital room, Toni Greer pressed her palms against the white enamel sink and studied her reflection in the chrome-rimmed mirror. Deliberately, she inspected each feature, the bandage covering the cut on the side of her forehead, and the garish welt staining her cheek. "Who are you, Toni Greer?" she whispered to her mirror image. "Why are you hiding from me?"

Dr. Madigan had cautioned her not to try to force the memories to return but rather to allow them to resurface gradually. She gave a sharp sigh. That was easy for him to say. His memory hadn't gone AWOL. He didn't look at a stranger every time he brushed his teeth or washed his face. He didn't have a void where a past should have been.

Frustrated, she pushed herself away from her disturbing mirror image, wincing as her bruised shoulder protested. Shuffling out of the bathroom, she crossed the room to her bed. Yesterday afternoon, she'd woken up with a headache, cotton wool for brains, and a badly bruised shoulder. In the twenty-four hours since that time, she'd ignored the doctor's advice and had struggled to retrieve her past. The harder she tried, however, the more elusive her memories became. Veiled images danced just beyond her reach, taunting her. Only Blair's steadying presence had stopped her from giving in to the panic threatening to overwhelm her.

Toni smiled at the thought of her guardian angel dressed in an unlikely costume of black leather, plaid flannel, and indecently snug denim. From her first glance into his smoky gray eyes, she'd sensed a connection, something primitive, comforting, and unnerving all rolled up into one potent package.

Blair's chiseled features were too strong to be classically handsome, yet she found each one infinitely fascinating. The unyielding line of his jaw promised inner strength but also unbending stubbornness, the makings of a loyal friend or a formidable adversary. He'd told her they'd met and become friends two years ago when he'd been working as a photographer in New York. Judging from the undercurrents of tension eddying in the room whenever he was present, she couldn't help but wonder what had been left unsaid. Toni exhaled slowly and sank against the pillows. She sensed that there was a lot more in their past than friendship. Her cheeks grew warm. Her memory was damaged, but her body's reaction to Blair proved her libido had come through the accident unscathed.

She raked her fingers through her hair, angry at the stubborn wall in her mind. Her past might be a mystery, but she'd already learned one thing about herself. She wasn't a patient woman. The sketchy details of her life Blair had provided weren't enough, but it was all the good doctor had allowed.

Toni looked at the large brown leather bag on her nightstand. Blair said it was hers, but it didn't feel like hers any more than the successful modeling career he'd mentioned. Was she really a wealthy and internationally renowned model? Her forehead wrinkled in a frown. She leaned over and brought the oversized bag to her lap. Shouldn't the bag or its contents feel familiar?

The first item to emerge was a wallet bulging with cash and a rainbow of credit cards. Why was she carrying such a large amount of cash, with so much credit at her disposal? She leafed through the little plastic sleeves, stopping at her driver's license. The unsmiling woman in the picture looked like her, but the expression in her eyes was guarded, almost sad. It didn't feel like she was looking at herself—only a photo of someone who looked like her. Had she become disenchanted with her glamorous life? She snapped the wallet shut in a burst of frustration. Blair was in cahoots with her dark-eyed, dark-haired doctor and refused to discuss her past in any detail. No answers would be forthcoming on that front. She dropped the wallet into the bag and shifted the contents, stifling discomfort. Logically, she knew it was her bag, but it still felt like she was rifling through someone else's belongings, stealing someone else's life.

Toni's hand closed around a large, square compact. For an instant, an image flashed in her mind's eye. She jerked her hand back with a gasp. She saw the compact in a woman's hand. A shudder rippled through her from the nape of her neck to the tips of her toes. Her fingers trembled and her heart beat hard in her chest. Once again, she grasped the slim ivory compact. Nothing. She pulled it out of the bag, pausing for a few seconds before she opened it. Plastic covered the small pots of blush and eye shadow. It was brand new. Toni exhaled sharply. What had she expected to find? The hand passing the compact to her must have been a clerk. If so, why had fear and tension accompanied the single-frame image?

She shoved the compact back into the bag but couldn't dismiss the sense of foreboding. Perhaps the doctor was right. Her attempts to force the memories to the surface might have caused this disturbing experience, but to stop the search for her past was an unacceptable alternative. She returned the bag to the utilitarian nightstand and crossed her arms over her chest.

Through the large plate glass window, Toni saw the tops of evergreens swaying back and forth, caught in the relentless grip of a brisk winter wind. That was exactly how she felt—at the mercy of forces beyond her control and dogged by a profound sense of loss.

Perhaps this feeling of loss was normal for someone who'd lost a lifetime, but she wanted to reclaim her life. If Blair wouldn't tell her more about her past, she would have to find some other way to retrieve it herself. * * * * Blair paused in the doorway of Toni's room, ensnared by the picture of discouragement before him. Toni, dressed in a simple standard hospital issue nightgown, reclined on her bed. A well-washed blanket covered her legs. Her moss green eyes were staring out the window, unfocused. Her shoulders drooped. At the sound of a long heartfelt sigh, he crushed an unruly wave of protectiveness struggling to surface. Resentment simmered. No one knew how to protect herself better than Toni Greer—the old Toni. He wasn't so sure about this one.

He gave himself a brisk mental shake. Thoughts like this were dangerous. Forgetting, even for a fraction of a second, who he was dealing with could cost him his life.

Granted, it was disconcerting to see Toni without her customary mask of controlled indifference. Rarely, in all the months he'd worked with her, had it slipped. People assumed she was beautiful but not too bright—an image she allowed, and at times even cultivated, to her advantage. Nothing was further from the truth. Her mind was razor sharp. In all the years he had worked deep undercover, Toni had been the only person to see through one of his carefully constructed covers. She'd given her word not to betray him. He'd believed her. She'd drawn him into Hagen's social circle. He'd thanked her. Then, she'd ruthlessly betrayed him, and he'd nearly died.

The cunning and heartless lover of Farrell Hagen was the woman he had to remember. His hand tightened around the narrow neck of the vase of flowers in his hand. This Toni, with her shy smiles and eyes devoid of shadows, was an illusion that would no doubt disappear when she recovered from her amnesia.

Watching her, he acknowledged that the past twenty-four hours had introduced another unexpected complication into this already tumultuous situation—a powerful physical attraction. He couldn't even walk into her hospital room without waging a war with his own body. Two years ago, there hadn't been any chemistry between them whatsoever. Why now? The timing certainly couldn't be worse.

Toni shifted, then straightened her shoulders. Blair watched as a determined glint replaced the solemn expression. Had she remembered what had happened? He hoped so. It would put an end to the emotional upheaval her arrival in his life had created.

He cleared his throat and stepped into the room. Toni turned and smiled—a brilliant smile shimmered in her eyes. It hit him like a sucker punch to the solar plexus and left him just as winded.

"Flowers? How sweet!" Toni took the bouquet and leaned toward the fragrant blossoms, inhaling deeply. With a soft smile, she looked up and said, "Thank you, Blair!"

Feeling like a fraud, he flushed. The bouquet had simply been a prop to win her trust. He'd seen them when he'd passed through the lobby of the hospital and thought that it would help him construct a cover as her friend. When Toni's memory returned, he would still have to convince her that he didn't suspect her part in the ambush of his men and that he was someone she could trust.

"Glad you like them," he said with a single shoulder shrug, wishing that his groin wasn't already starting to mutiny. He hitched onto the side of the bed.

"Like them? I love them!" She leaned over to place the flowers on the nightstand beside her bag. As she moved, the well-washed fabric of the nightie molded against the soft curves of her breasts. Blair bit back a groan. Why had his iron control deserted him? There was only one thing hard about him at that moment and that was in his jeans.

Blair looked into her clear, guileless eyes, and for a handful of seconds, he didn't want the old Toni to return. Shucking off that thought, he knew he really must be going crazy. Two years ago, he'd admired her. What man with a pulse wouldn't? She was lauded as one of the most beautiful women in the world. Even so, he'd never had unruly desire take him at the knees in her presence, and that unnerved him more than looking down the barrel of a gun. It was a battle he'd never expected to wage.

"I heard a rumor you're going to be a free woman this afternoon," he said.

Toni nodded, but her smile was forced. Tension rolled off her in waves. How strange to be able to read her so easily. Once again, he had the unnerving sensation that he was dealing with another woman. But he wasn't, and for that reason he couldn't let down his guard even though Toni'sr smiles made him feel like a teenager at the mercy of an avalanche of heady hormones.

"I'll step out and take care of the paperwork while you dress, then we can head back to my place."

For the first time since he'd walked into the room, her gaze fell away from his. She was pulling back. He couldn't let that
happen, not yet.

"Blair, I do appreciate your offer to let me stay with you but..."

Her obvious discomfort was fascinating and so unlike the Toni he used to know. "But?"

"I ... I think that I should go back home ... to my home in New York. Perhaps, seeing my own things might help jog some memories."

He should have expected this. The old Toni was fiercely independent. "You can't."

She blinked. Her miffed, surprised expression was almost comical. "Why not?"

"You promised to spend Christmas with me." How easily the lie slipped out. He'd lived so many lies when he'd worked undercover, but this was the first one that caused him a twinge of guilt. He didn't need to deal with a conscience gone awry in addition to unruly desire.

"But that was before the accident. I don't know you."

Perhaps the chemistry arcing between them would be useful for something. "Can you honestly say we feel like strangers?"

She studied him for a moment and then shook her head. "Not really."

"Stay here until Christmas. If your memory still hasn't returned by then, I'll take you to New York myself."

Hopefully if her memory hadn't returned in three weeks, Drew would have been able to find out what had brought her tumbling into his life. As much as he hated to admit it, he couldn't shake the moral code he'd lived by all of his life. Even after everything Toni had done, allowing her to return to the city and undoubtedly a lethal trap wasn't an option. He gave a silent, derisive snort. He was a veritable knight in rusty armor.

Unbidden and unwanted, an image from the past stole into his mind. Toni had called him 'her Lancelot'. What a fool he'd been! He'd thought she'd finally trusted him, when all the time she'd simply been acting a part and gaining his trust. It was the same thing as he was doing now, so why did he feel
like a fraud instead of justified?

"Blair—"

"Look it will probably only be a few days before your memory is as good as new. You need time to recuperate before you take on the Big Apple." He gave what he'd hoped was a lazy smile. A soft flush washed over her cheeks and she nodded. This Toni was as susceptible to him as he was to her. This Toni. He'd done it again, thinking about them as two different women.

She ran her tongue over her lips then swallowed. "Christmas is over three weeks away," she whispered, her voice husky with suppressed tears. "It's only been twentyfour hours and not knowing who I am is driving me crazy."

"Forcing the memories won't do you any good."

She flashed him a wry smile. "Now you're starting to sound like the doctor."

"Because he's right."

She stroked her fingertips back and forth across he forehead, a gesture he'd come to recognize as one of agitation—something new. "Neither of you know what it's like to have a void where memories should be." She blinked away tears gathering in her eyes. "You call me Toni, but I feel like I'm answering to another woman's name." She tugged her wallet from her bag and flipped it open. "Look at this." He glanced at her driver's license and then back at her. "It's you."

"The picture looks like me, but..." Toni stared at the picture, a frown creasing her forehead. "I know this is going to sound crazy, but it doesn't feel like me."

Toni was right. It did look like her, but the distant look in her eyes was unlike the woman before him whose eyes were clear—reflecting every emotion, every feeling—not brittle and remote. With the past erased, the cause of whatever had prompted Toni to build such a thick protective shell was gone as well.

Two years ago, when Blair had prepared for the
assignment that first brought him into contact with Toni Greer, he'd learned that she was the only child of wealthy, but neglectful, parents. She'd left home at seventeen when her modeling career had started to provide a comfortable income. She'd been on her own ever since, over seven years. Once, during a rare private lunch when Toni had been uncharacteristically relaxed and open, she admitted becoming entangled with Hagen had been the biggest mistake of her life.

"Toni, you aren't doing yourself any good." He couldn't imagine what it was like to be stripped of a lifetime of memories. For someone who controlled every aspect of her life as Toni had, this situation was bound to be upsetting. "You're right, but I can't seem to stop." Her shoulders drooped.

"Why not take it a day at a time? You could wake up tomorrow and remember everything."

Toni gave him a half-hearted smile and nodded. From the look in her eyes, she didn't believe it anymore than he did.
"Blair?" Indecision flickered in her eyes. Her lips parted but then pressed shut. She shook her head. "Nothing."

What had she been about to ask? When she looked at him like that, her eyes full of trust, he found it difficult to lie to her, so it was probably better if he didn't know. "I'll be back in about half an hour. Will you need any help getting dressed? I could ask the nurse come and give you a hand."

"Thanks, but I think I can manage."

A long slender leg slipped out from under the blanket. Blair clamped down on the riptide of desire sparked by the sight of her shapely calf. Retreat seemed to be the wisest course of action, at least for the moment. Turning on his heel, he started out of the room. He might be able to walk away from her but not from the unruly desire she evoked or the feeling that trouble—lots of it—was just around the corner.